Temper Tantrums

I am thoroughly frustrated.

Pea has been having some massively fantastic temper tantrums of late. They are not only frustrating, energy draining, and headache promoting, but they leave me feeling utterly helpless and worthless in the parental department.

Getting her out the door is a battle. Getting her into her car seat, another battle. Shoes on? Forget it.

(Oh, and her Crocs are getting too tight, but she currently won't wear any other shoes - this, from the girl who used to have more shoes than I did. And I LOVE shoes.) Today, she pulled off her socks in the car, so she could get her Crocs on. God help me, please, when those shoes truly become too small. Yes, the next size up is in the closet, but since it is fall, I really don't want to let on about them.

I've tried threatening. I've tried taking things away. I've tried flat-out bribery. Nothing. There is no motivator strong enough for her. Yelling doesn't work - and while it is definitely something I do not want to do, lets be honest, after so long, sometimes it just erupts in a fit of mutual frustration.

I tweeted about this the other night. There are some fantastic moms in the Twitter community, and with the vast range of experiences, someone might have an idea, right? One that I haven't tried?

Well, not quite.

What I did find, however, was that I'm NOT alone in this boat, sinking in a sea of whine and tantrums. (And yes, I know my child is not the only one to have meltdowns; however, she IS the only one having them in my house, with me, and since I'm not seeing others on the playground or the car park, I'm losing perspective.) And other moms out there are equally frustrated.

Says lukasmom who writes the blog Drama for Mama "our girls must be clones. Mine is 4.5 and the tantrums should be filmed for "The Nanny" show. I am out of ideas. Nothing works".

Iceinmamilk offered to swap kids with me, as she is having the same issues. But she has 2 girls. I respectfully declined.

Jenniewrenbird and Kingdomfirstmom ALWAYS have excellent suggestions. Jennie keeps me laughing, and Alyssa keeps me grounded, and has a great blog here.

Thismomsguide who writes a blog of the same name, also suffers - er - is blessed with a gorgeous red-headed 3 yr old. She had support to offer, and commiseration, which I needed.

Bottom line is that part of her problems are hunger-related, some are fatigue-related, and the rest is a power struggle. Ignoring her, and walking away is the best thing, but my Mommy brain has a really, really hard time with ignoring her. And walking away isn't safe when she won't get out of the car at the car park. And believe me, i can get in the car and start it, and we can have a 20 minute standoff for her to GET. In. THE. CAR. And she won't.

And then I have to carry her to the car, kicking and screaming, forcibly buckling her in, and life in fear of a neighbor to misconstrue it all and call the police or child welfare on me.

There really should be a Tantrums Anonymous group.
A Coping with Tantrums parenting course.
Paxil handed out when your child turns Three.

Something.

I mean, if you could see what I will have to go through to get a drivers license in this country, you would be shocked. Its enough to motivate me to walk more. (Getting my kids to cooperate with this line of thinking, especially once the winter rains start, is a different story.) So why more training and licensing for parenting isn't in place, I'm quite astounded.

Really, now, wouldn't a counsellor run boot camp be as effective in those prepregnancy months as the Lamaze classes? Oh, I'm not talking about the how to raise your kids bit.

I'm talking about how to manage yourself, and your own psyche (without dipping daily into the liquor cabinet).

sick princess

As if a 17 hour drive isn't bad enough, getting sick in the first 5 hours makes it REALLY long.

I didn't even hear Pea get sick. I heard a cough, and Boo shouted "She threw up. Its all in her blankie! Ewww".

Yes, the girl caught all of it in her beloved blankie. Getting sick is traumatic enough, but to mess her blankie? Oh my.

Houston, we have a problem.

Both kids slept a lot, and were bouncy when we got out. However, Pea spiked a fever as we got closer to Chicago. She was up a lot more than usual last night. She was peeing constantly. (Not a big deal for most 3yr olds, but this is the same girl who was holding it last month because, get this, she didn't want to pee. Don't even get me started on THOSE conversations....)

Last night, she pointed to her left side, and said "my back hurwts." She then pointed to her belly button, and said "hewe, too". Warning bells went off in my head.

She woke up this morning hot enough to cook eggs on her forehead. I called the pediatrician, and then , bad mommy that I am, left her with her favorite babysitter so I could finally get my crowns seated. (I'd already cancelled the last two appointments, and I was fearing that I needed a root canal on top of it all.)

That painful task out of the way, and my face half numb, I drove Pea to her doctor. 15 minutes later we were headed to the emergency room; the good doc feared a kidney infection, and as Miz Stubborn won't pee in a potty, let alone a cup, and she spiked a fever as the doc was examining her, she needed immediate attention.

Now, through mommy blogs and Twitter, I have followed a number of absolutely heartbreaking tales of kids who are ill. Truly ill. And I've had so much respect for how their parents are handling the ordeal.

Today took it to a whole new level.

As I watched the nurses dig for a vein in my poor dehydrated girlie (she wouldn't drink, either), blow a vein and then opt to try the back of her hand, I had to dig deep for composure as my babydoll cried (no tears, she was dry.) Then, they had to use a catheter to get the smallest urine sample I've ever seen. She screamed, she cried. She begged to go home. I felt two foot tall for subjecting her to all of it. Never mind that she needed it. Never mind that if she had simply peed in the damn cup, we wouldn't have to subject her to any of it. (Did I say she is a stubborn cuss?)

It was a long, scary, terrifying day. Fortunately, after 6 hours, we were allowed to leave, with a prescription in hand that cost the same (with insurance) as my last pair of Ugg boots. Oh, and a Beanie Baby fish, coloring book, princess crayons, and stickers. She made out like a bandit for all her suffering!

Since she spiked another fever right before bedtime, and still looked listless and pale under her beach tan, (and as I'm a moron, and left her bedrail in a hotel in Batesville, Indiana), I don't think I'll get much sleep tonight.

So while I'm rocking her or rubbing her back, I'll be thinking of Stellan and MckMama tonight, praying for them both, and counting each and every one of MY blessings.