25 Thoughts for Tuesday

I was cleaning out my in-box (yes, it is a veritable disaster) and came across this forward. I'm sure it was a chain letter at some point, author unknown, but I saved it because it contained really great advice - the common sense kind that we all know, but have an occasion every now and again to be reminded of it.

So here we go, 25 thoughts for a Tuesday:

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to someone special about what is going on in your life.  (I'm assuming the "Someone special" is God. Otherwise, I'm confused by the sitting in silence and talking to someone special combo here.)
3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to__________ today. I am thankful for______________ "
4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants. (sadly this includes Oreos, Ho-Hos and Dunkin Donuts)
5. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. (Note to self: Diet soda does NOT count as water.)
6. Try to make at least three people smile each day
7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. (I have to remember this when "talking" to my 5 year old!)
13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
17. Forgive everyone for everything.
18. What other people think of you is none of your business.
19. Spirituality can heal everything.....but you have to trust in it.
20. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.
24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
25. When you are feeling down, start listing the many good things around you. You'll be smiling before you know it.

I wish you an amazing, positive, fulfilling day!

Home Again, Home Again (Jiggedy Jig)

I have been up for approximately 26 hours because I cannot sleep on airplanes.

I smell like airport.

I have static-head from sleeping against an airplane seat and a paper covered pillow. (I know, I shouldn't have, so let's not even go there.)

My house smells like dog.

There is a dent in the wall where Boo rocked Pea's glider rocking chair a *titch* too hard. I'll be calling the painter/plasterer in the morning, which sucks. (They "forgot" to tell Daddy that they did it yesterday.)

There is no food in the house.

My kids have greasy looking/slippery feeling heads from the new lice treatment the Hubs tried on them while I was gone. There was yet another outbreak at school.

And my darling kids, after totally loving on me at school when I surprised them by picking them up BEFORE after-school club, well, totally melted down and punished me for deserting them by being hellions all afternoon.

The puppy, on the other hand, was so happy to see me, she peed on my feet. All afternoon.

I've spent most of the remains of the day doubled over, disinfectant and floor cleaner in hand, yelling at the puppy.

I'm such a bitch.

A tired, hungry bitch.

On the upside, the laundry is all caught up, my kids have been de-loused, and I get to sleep in my own bed tonight. Well done, Hubs.

Its good to be home.

Travelling Solo

This week, I've had to travel back to the States for my grandfather's memorial service.

Not wanting to subject the kids to the time changes and disruption involved with a short trip overseas, I've come on my own.

Alone.

Solo.

Uno.

Yes, I'm childless for FIVE days.

My husband asked: "What will you do on that flight, all alone?"

The reality? While I was completely unencumbered - it was one damn long flight. It felt endless.

No fussing. No whining. I was free to read, watch a movie without interruption - and it was the longest damn flight I've EVER been on.

I miss my kids. I miss my puppy, peeing on my feet. I miss my husband, looking at me with the last dregs of patience as I lose my temper with my kids after the umpteenth sibling battle-o-rama of the day.

Hopefully, they miss me a bit too - and I'll be a bit more appreciated when I return. Because I know I will appreciate them more, too.

Happy Puppy Wee

I'm a "wee" late for Mama Kat's writing challenge, but I'm adding my submission anyway.  My prompt of choice was to write about my pet's least likeable character trait.

Easy peasy lemon squeezy, that one.

Macy - still a puppy - experiences "excitement" wees. Don't get me wrong - she was housebroken in record time, and rarely has an accident in the house. But if someone comes to the door? Or downstairs? She can't control her excitement.

When the Hubs comes downstairs in the morning, she gets so excited, she wees on the floor.

When he comes down an hour later, now dressed in suit and tie, despite the fact that she saw him go UPSTAIRS, she gets so excited, she wees again.

(We keep a newspaper at the bottom of the stairs, and maneuver her onto it as needed.)

The mailman? She wees on the front step (where I've shoved her, so I don't have to mop the hall floor - again.)

The Tesco guy delivering groceries? She wees on his feet (again, on the front steps).

The ironing lady? Really, I hope that she isn't wearing sandals the next time she comes to pick up the Hubs' shirts. She doesn't seem to mind, but I know I would. I don't care how much I love dogs, I get irritated when Macy greets others like that, let alone me.

My kids, when they come home from school? They go directly to the back garden, and I let her out. Then she can wee on their feet, and on the grass.

Basically, I'm going to leave a pair of wellies on the front stoop, and hang a sign which reads "put on boots before ringing bell - exciteable puppy with weak bladder inside".

She's getting better. She doesn't wee for me or for Pea any more, and most of the time, not for Boo.

But seriously, pup? Next time, just wag your tail.

Wordless Wednesday - Bad Name Choices*

*I especially appreciate the pointless use of "quotation marks". Unless, of course, his cat does have fleas.
In which case, nevermind.

Reflections from a coffee cup

As I'm putting away dishes tonight, I look at our "his and hers" coffee mugs (yes, from Disneyland - it was Paris, at least, don't judge me) and realize how appropriate the illustrations are on each mug:

Mine (the "J") shows Mickey juggling a ball (he's not goofing around, he's juggling - work with me on this) - and the Hubs' mug has the classic "D'oh" expression on Mickey's face.

Apt, I tell you.

So then, while I wait for the kettle to come to a boil, I realize how much a reflection of me all my mugs are. Like this one, my favorite, JUMBO mug. The one I had to hunt down (after it broke in the sink) from the company that makes them, as they had one remaining one in their showroom. I'm pretty sure they weren't using it, but if they were, I don't care. I love it that much.

Mommy DOES need coffee.

And the reverse? Equally true. 

Give me some sugar or get the hell out of my way.

And then there is the last of my mugs:

If you can't read it, it says "I'll have a caffe mocha vodka valium latte to go, please!"

I think that sums up my days quite nicely.

Now if you don't mind, I really, really need some coffee.

When I Grow Old, I Shall Wear Silver Trousers

Earlier this summer, the Hubs and I went to see Orquesta Buena Vista  (insert samba dance here) at the Hay Festival. I've loved the Buena Vista Social Club since their album was first released and this concert did not disappoint.


However, for as fabulous as the music and all the musicians were - they obviously were having a great time - it was THIS man who was burned into my memory. He was clearly enjoying himself, jamming on his guitar, despite the fact that when he wasn't playing, he was moving pretty slowly. I can only hope that when I am his age, I am still doing all the things that I dearly love to do.

Yes, he is the one who sticks in my memory. I want to be THIS guy when I'm 70 or 80.

And not just because he was wearing silver trousers. And a silver jacket. A glittery, sparkly silver jacket.

Ok, maybe that, too.

Women Who Inspire Me

Today's post is to talk about someone who inspires me - but people make their marks on you in different ways, and it is hard to choose just one person.


I think the biggest inspiration comes from my mom. Especially since I'm basically becoming her, daily.

We are both emotional, and wear our hearts on our sleeve. We're quick to jump to protect and defend those who are important to us. We both tend to, well, yell. A lot. (I'm Italian. That's my story.) We're both oversensitive.


We both love to read, and if we have (haha) free time, can be found with our noses in a book. 


One clear memory of my mom is that she vacuumed. Every day. I mean, when I think back to my childhood, I remember my mom vacuuming, reading, or telling me to get my nose OUT of a book, and go outside and play.


She has a heart as big as Texas, and puts up with the receiving end of Dad's sense of humor, which I share, so I know how tough that can be.


Yesterday, I told my son "If you don't stop that fake crying, I'll give you something to really cry about" - a familiar comment, in spite of the fact that we were rarely spanked. We look alike.  We are two different people, but I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for her support and love.


The second woman who has always been an inspiration to me is my Aunt Jeanne. She has FIVE boys. She is unflappable where I am an anxious mess. She is calm where I am Type A+. Nothing seems to faze her, and I long to have just one fraction of that kind of "go with the flow" attitude. She has a fantastic relationship with her boys, and her family is tight. She's pretty awesome.
'Nuf said.


And lastly is my cyber friend Jenny of JennyontheSpot.com. No, we haven't met face-to-face yet, but she is the cool Jenny that I always wanted to be. Despite being a glass half empty kind of gal, she hides it well. She is hilarious. She is brave. She is creative. She makes me laugh. And reading her blog, she inspires me to work harder at my own blog, do more creatively, push myself. I realize I'll never vlog because I'm not particularly photogenic and you can't use all those cool Beaute apps on video. Yet. 


Seriously, Jenny, I'm totally not stalking you. But I do heart you, girlfriend.




I'm participating in the SITS Back to Blogging Challenge and - yay! - this is Day Four. 

Wouldn't I love to have Thelma and Louise come live with me? I can dream, can't I? Thanks goes to the challenge sponsors: Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.

I won't be living in the land of teeny washers forever, you know.

Wordless Wednesday: I Don't Know Where She Gets It From. Really.

A Post Title I'm Really Proud of

Today is Day 3 of SITS "Back to Blogging Event", and today's assignment is to share a post whose title I'm really proud of. To be honest, my favorite title is still in the "Drafts Column" - which means I really, really need to get that bugger posted. It was a tough call. One of my favorite post titles was "Bunnycide", but the one I chose?

Motherhood is a Blessing. Right?

I love my kids. I really do.

But somedays (like every morning at 8am) they can drive me absolutely mad. Cuckoo.

Nutso.

And, really, when I say "they", I mean Pea. (I'm just trying to stay fair and not single one out, but I can't).

My daughter is a sight to behold in the mornings. Seriously, I contemplate giving HER some coffee to start her morning, because its just that bad.

Don't get me wrong - she is a lovely, happy little girl. I knwo this, because she can turn that temper OFF just as quickly as she turns it on, and then she is the sweetest thing outside of a candy store. Like a big, squishy, huggy lump of chocolate.

Mmmmm.....chocolate.....

Sorry. (Focus......)

So dealing with tantrums means striking a balance of trying not to lose my temper and instead see the humor in the situation - without laughing. Because that would make her go through the ceiling, and then she gets completely unmanageable!

You tell me how difficult this would be....

• when your daughter is biting her underpants (in hand, not while wearing them, although that would be even funnier) and then throwing them against the wall, while yelling "these are STUPID! Throw them AWAY"
• when she's lying naked in the middle of her hot pink furry area rug, rolling around yelling "I am NOT getting dwessed and I am NOT going to school"
• when she is sitting on the bottom step, arms crossed, bottom lip stuck out far enough to land a small bird on, one shoe on, one shoe against the opposite wall where she has thrown it after yelling "I'm NOT going to school"

The only reason I can keep from laughing is because I'm seriously pissed at the same time.

Since I know that the minute we pull into the car park by school, she'll be bouncing out of the car, yelling hello to her friends and screeching their names, and running into school, happpy to be there. I'm told that they see her as a happy, confident little girl - one who clearly knows her mind.

So I won't take it personally.

But, believe me, while I know that it is a blessing to have these two wonderful kids and get to experience everything through their eyes, there are days that it feels less like a blessing and more like penance, for every moment of grief we ever gave our parents.

And for that, Mom and Dad, I am truly, really sorry.

--------

This post in particular appeals to me because, really, it sums up WHY I blog - to capture moments of motherhood where, maybe not especially desirable, let me realize the beauty of my kids, their joy, their delight, their not-so-pretty moments....and to put it all in perspective.


'Cause, honestly, most days? I needs me some perspective.

I can't forget to give a shout-out to the sponsors of the "Back to Blogging" challenge, so go say "hi" to Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builder Appliances.   

The Unlikely Connoisseur

As part of our nightly bedtime routine, after Boo reads us his school books, we read him one of his choice.

Tonight, his book of choice (a short one, because it was late) was "Good Night America". As he finished the book, he looked at The Hubs and said "I like reading "Good Night America". I miss all of America sometimes. There are two places I really want to go see when we go back."

"Where is that?", the Hubs inquired.

"California and New York", he replied.

"Well, why is that, Boo?"

Says Boo "Well, I hear they have really good restaurants!"

Revisiting a post I wish more people had read

In an attempt to jumpstart my blogging, I'm reposting a blog entry from March 2010....


Find a Happy Place, FINDAHAPPYPLACE!


After a long morning (yes, already) with my daughter Sybil...erm...Pea (I mean, is it really possible for someone to wake up whining? Apparently so, and it morphed into a 45 minute tantrum, at which point I just threw some cheerios at her and stuffed her in the car to go to school.....)

Aaand, I'm rambling. It happens. Stay with me....

After a stressful morning with my darling, darling now 4 year old, coffee in hand, I latched on to my bloggy pal Jenny from Jenny on the Spot's post "Ooooh! A List! A List of Happy Things" because I needed a laugh. (And its just too early for vodka.)

I love that flattery took up three spots on her list. Nothing wrong with confidence shots. And sublety. So what the heck - I need to change my frame of mind, so here is my totally random list of 10 things that make me happy.

1. My kids. They rock. They crack me up.

2. Alternately, dropping my kids off at school. (Is that wrong?)

3. The Hubs. He's smart, sweet, sexy. I love how his entire body turns red when he laughs (although, it is a bit startling in a "hey, are you ok?" kind of way.) He puts up with me, my blogging, and my weird hours. It works.

4. Chocolate. Especially warm, melty chocolate that cries out for a big glass of milk.

5. This Movie:Its corny, its sweet, and it has classic lines that stick in your head - like the "chick" version of "Monty Python and the Holy Grail". Or "Spaceballs".

6. Sitting at the beach. Can you be unhappy with sand between your toes and the hot sun on your face?

(ok, so maybe this wasn't the best photo choice.)

7. A Starbucks skinny vanilla latte. Ok, but if we are talking SERIOUSLY happy, a peppermint mocha, with whip. Oh yeah, I walk on the wild side.

8. Curling up with a good book. Especially when all my housework is done. (Isn't it awfully convenient that I live in the "town of books?")

9. Date night: I get to enjoy a good meal with my husband, but without having to cook or clean up myself, and I get to have an uninterrupted conversation, too. If I'm lucky, we might even see a show or a movie. (gasp)

10. Miniature golf. How can you NOT have fun playing miniature golf - a family tradition when we go to the beach. Especially watching your 3-year-old play.

11. Chocolate.

Yes, I know I said a list of ten, but chocolate makes me so happy it needs to be here twice. There is no such thing as too much chocolate.

Wanna play? Make your list on Facebook or on your blog, and let me know so I can read it, too.

I needs all the happy I can gets today.

--------------

I wish more people had read this post because it sums up quite a bit about me, and its a good example of my voice - sarcasm, humor, whatever you want to call it.  It also reminds me of one of the reasons that I blog - it helps me keep life in perspective. Sometimes, on the worst of days, recounting our misadventures helps me to see the brighter side - and this was a day I really needed to see the brighter side.

This post is in conjunction day 2 of SITS' "Back to Blogging" challenge...not only am I getting back on track, but this event is sponsored by Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builders Applicances, who are offering the chance to win a gorgeous Electrolux Washer/Dryer set!

The joy of living abroad

Walking through the marina in Swansea this weekend, the Hubs commented that on our next trip there, we'd need to get on the water - take one of the boat excursions offered in the area.

Boo looked at him and said "MY first boat ride was in Paris".

Yeah. How cool is that?

Flashback

So, in my last post, I took a look back at my very first blog post from May 2008 - which left me browsing through a few other early posts....

....and came across one where Boo, then 4, was having constant meltdowns and we were having some major power struggles.

Huh.

And then another one, where we were having daily battles about...yup...shoes.

Both topics are familiar to me, as I have the same conversations (and a few similar blogposts) about Pea.

Why I didn't remember this, I don't know. (Maybe its like childbirth - you forget the pain so that you do it again....)

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. And here I am again. I feel cheated, as it SHOULD be easier this time around, shouldn't it?

But its not. So please, if you don't mind, pass me the Lexapro and a vodka tonic. Second time around is gonna be a rough ride.

Revisiting My Very First Post

Summer is over, school is in full swing, and now is the perfect time for me to take part in SITS "Back to Blogging" event! I've been a little a lot ok, completely undisciplined with my blogging of late...and, thanks to sponsors Standards of Excellence, Westar Kitchen and Bath, and Florida Builders Applicances, I could also win Thelma and Louise (a rockin' Electrolux washer/dryer set) for the US house. But really, its all about the blog.

So today's challenge was to repost my very first post. I was a bit nervous, as its been over two years now, and I couldn't actually remember my first post..... but here it is:

My delightful son Sam was born in March 2004, less than a month after I quit my job of 7 years in preparation of staying at home with my soon-to-be-born daughter or son. This little guy rocked my world more than I ever could have imagined. I went from client relations for a fund manager to trucks, Thomas the Tank Engine, and countless readings of "Where the Wild Things Are".

Once assured that Sam would not be wearing a Don King-like do forever (easing concerns that we wouldn't be condemning him - or a sibling - to permanent franken-doo) and hearing the tick-tock of the biological clock, we took another gamble on the wheel-o-fertility and tried for #2.

In March 2006, Madeleine (or Maddie-girl, as Sam calls her), joined the wild rumpus. My giggly girl, Sam's own personal Mini-Me with a pert little nose and an even better 'do, completed our little family. (Mostly because I'm just too damn tired to even contemplate being preggo at 40.)

Both babes were brought into the world with the assistance of my wonderful hubby of 5 years, Pete. Pete is funny, loving, outgoing, stubborn, focused - and has passed all these traits, as far as we can tell, onto Sam, and as we are quickly learning, Maddie. And I love them all!

We've been posting pictures on BabyJellyBeans.com since Sam was born, but it doesn't provide much of a creative outlet for me nor a true glimpse of our daily lives - which is what I want to record for us. If you enjoy it too, then all the better!

----------------------

What I love about this post? I love that it shows my voice - which, I must admit, has been inconsistent of late. I'm also glad that it is a true "first post". And look at how cute my babies are!

I've also realized that I need to revisit my older posts every now and again; I came across one that whined commented on Boo's tantrums regarding shoes - he was 4 at the time, and guess what - Miss Pea is having the EXACT same tantrums now. He's outgrown them, and so I have faith that Miss Pea will too.

Its all been a big adventure - and while I'm struggling to maintain the quality of the posts and not turn it too much into a travelogue, I'm really anxious to get back on track. As I'm in the process of revamping my blog, this challenge is kismet!

(So it's not) Wordless Wednesday....

Ok, so there are words here. Sue me. I have a headache.

Instead, take a looky at this here blog: Hungover Owls.
(C'mon, you've thought about it, right? How all owls look kinda, well, hungover?)

Seriously funny stuff....

Now, someone get me some Tylenol.

Dog Days

So, basically, my puppy has THE life. 

She sleeps, eats, poops, and plays.

No responsibility. She doesn't even have to wipe her own backside or clean out her water dish.

If it wasn't for having to eat the same meal day after day, the slug-eating (throws up a little in my mouth) the "no chocolate" rule (a definite killer) and - oh, yes - the bum sniffing (a peck on the cheek is fine, thankyouverymuch), I'd say I'd like to come back my next life as a dog.

First Day of School

The summer holiday passed so quickly, helped along by three weeks travel back to the US, but nonetheless, Boo and Pea were ready to head back to school and see their friends. I think we were all also in need of getting back on a regular schedule. (My lovelies need structure, which is seriously lacking in the summer....)

Boo is starting Year 2 (the US equivalent of first grade) and Pea is in Reception - which age-wise would be Pre-K in the US, although I'd consider what they do to be Kindergarden-level work.)

Boo is very excited as he is "in the top of Key Stage 1 - we're the biggies"; I think he is particularly excited, however, as Year 2 students get to carry their OWN meals to the table and they buy their own snacks from the Tuck shop at snack time - a good exercise in responsibility and money management.

Pea just looks - well - tiny.

My babies are growing up! (sniff, sniff)

Wordless Wednesday: Sunset

Vintage Tractor and Steam Engine Rally

Last month, after flying from Chicago to London, and riding in the car for three hours, we thought, for some reason, that it would be a fantastic idea to go look at tractors and steam engines. I think I operated my camera in such a stupor that I forgot we even went, hence the delay.

It was a glorious day in Hay, and the views over the hills were beautiful.

Boo, being mad for anything remotely related to a tractor, dragged everyone down to a field to watch a demonstration of a vintage steam engine pulling a plow-type-thingy. It took a lot of effort to plow one row. I was exhausted watching.

There were plenty of traction engines to look at. (If you're a Thomas the Tank Engine fan, or know one,   its a whole lot of Trevors. The fact that I know this means I spend way too much time watching Thomas videos with Boo.)

Plenty of tractors, too, including a few kinds I'd never heard of...and again, hello, Boo, farm fanatic, I thought I'd heard of every brand of tractor there was.

The Hubs was particularly pleased with this Fordson - it has Virgina colors (Wahoo-wa!) 

I was impressed with their endurance, as I could have curled up in the back seat of a vintage car and had a nice nap. Hopefully next year it won't coincide with any Transatlantic flights, and the kids can take advantage of the bouncy castles and other fun stuff that we made them skip because they were running on adrenaline by the time we left.

It seems like there is always something interesting taking place around Hay!

When in Rome....or Hay

When by the river in Hay

And you don't have a swimsuit

Sometimes, you just have to roll up your trousers

And jump right in....

But sometimes, that's just not enough....and when the little ones nearby stripped to their underpants...

Mine did too!

Happiness is sitting on the beach in your underpants!

Welcome to Loserville

Can you see it? The big "L" on my forehead?

It is there because yesterday THIS was delivered to me (cue heavenly choir of cherubs singing):

Yes. It is what you think it is.

It is a cordless electric sweeper.  I know I mentioned that I was getting one in a prior post, but I'm just that excited about getting it that I had to share. (I know you care.) I am ecstatic. I am doing my happy dance. I know, its sad.

I'm a bit of a neat freak, you see. (I think I've mentioned this, too...) And with the door opening and closing and inside and outside due to housebreaking a puppy, I have a lot of grass and leaves on my floors.

A lot.

Enough to make me break out in hives every time I enter the kitchen or walk down the hallway.

And I'm too lazy to pull out the heavy duty hoover, which scares the living shit out of the puppy.

(Although, it does make her stay out of my way, unlike her game of chase the broom and dustpan.) 

Ok, so you'll never actually eat off of my kitchen floors, but there is a sense of pleasure and peace felt when observing a freshly cleaned floor that I just don't get from, I dunno, cleaning toilets. (That makes me feel like I need to take a shower.)

[I will also admit that I use the word "hoover" every chance I get. Its a fun word. Hoover. ]

So go on, laugh if you will.

I'm going to go hoover my floors again.

After that, I just may order a steam cleaner for the floors, too.

Scruffy Face; or, too much Monty Python will warp your brain.

Over the weekend, the Hubs did not shave. The kids haven't seen such a scruffy face in a long time, and commented on it over dinner on Monday night.

He said "Do you think I should grow out my beard over Christmas break? I'll look really scruffy, then!"

To which I replied "or a lumberjack!" (since they are too young to get the "Grizzly Adams" or "Paul Bunyan analogies.)

Unfortunately, with my brain so easily distracted (I prefer "works in a non-linear manner, thankyouverymuch), "lumberjack" promptly brought to mind Monty Python's "Lumberjack Song". (Years of watching late-night episodes of "Monty Python", "Benny Hill" and the whisky swilling "Dave Allen at Large" with my Dad has left its mark on me.)

The Hubs was totally unfamiliar with this. I find the need to enlighten him.



Quick note: its just the word "lumberjack" and the scruffy Grizzly Adams beard that brought this to mind, NOT my husband, thank you.