Excesses of Life in the States

Living in a different place has a way of putting things into perspective.

Smaller closets (i.e., wardrobes and cupboards, in our case - and this house is quite generous with them, in comparison to others) means weeding down everyone's wardrobe to those absolute favorites. Interestingly enough, even after thinning out my closet to the clothing I think are the items I really need, I still find myself pulling out a few particular pieces again and again.

Time to go through the closet again, and take some things to a charity shop.

Its a tired stereotype that Americans are excessive and wasteful, and one that I would readily argue. However, I suppose, in some ways now, I can see where visitors might get that impression.

Back in the States, it was a common complaint amongst friends that "our kids have too many toys." Our houses are larger (we have a tad bit more room to build on, however, in comparison to over here) and so many of us have basements and playrooms of some sort and manner. And our kids tend to collect toys. From family, through hand-me-downs, and/or (in our case) yard sales. (Grandma is a yard sale master, and has found the kids wonderful toys for a pittance of their original sale price.)

But since being here, despite the weeding of the toys the kids really didn't play with, we've realized they have Too. Damn. Many. Toys. Yes, we said this at home. And yes, we say it now. Initially, it was more of an automatic response, even though my children are (blessedly) very neat and tidy and orderly when it comes to their playroom and bedrooms.

However, when the Ironing Lady stopped by to pick up the Hubs work shirts, she noticed the playroom to her left, and commented "oh, you are a child minder?!!" Confused, I looked at her.
"You're a child minder", she repeated, and pointed to the kids' playroom.

Gulp.

"Erm, no, that's just the kids play room." I mumbled a half-assed response about having a large basement back home, and when we saw the house had an extra room we brought over more toys than we likely should have, blah blah blah...but was struck by the comment, and horribly embarrassed.

Sure, you say. Our kids have lots of toys. Your kids have lots of toys. Its part of childhood. Whats the big deal, you ask?

And, honestly, while I doubt Boo OR Pea could point to ONE toy and say that was his/her favorite toy, Boo, with his remarkable memory, KNOWS every toy he has. If I hide one, he quickly discovers that it is missing. I think he could catalogue every singe Matchbox car in his car basket. (Yes, he has a basket for all his Matchbox cars.) Maddie seems to rotate through her dolls, playing with them individually. And yes, she has TOO many dolls, period. Especially since she really plays with her Barbie princesses and her Polly Pockets more than any other dolls.

However, one recent incident really had an impact on the both of us.

On a recent weekend, some friends of the kids came over to play. First, they pulled out ALL the lawn tools - the toy lawnmowers, leaf blowers, weed wacker, rakes, hoes, and shovels (did I not say my Mom was a master yard-saler?) and happily, all 5 or 6 of them played in the backyard, tackling the beds with glee. (If I could only teach them to pull weeds...)

Then, the boys discovered Boo's collection of construction trucks.
Out they went to the backyard to play in the dirt.

On yet another trip inside, one of the boys saw Boo's tractor collection. (If there is anything Boo is really into, it is construction trucks and farm equipment. There is no end to the delight which the tractors that roll up our road and the roads through town provide.) But I digress....

So when the boy saw Boo's tractors, he ran home to get his tractor. He brought it back to show Boo, completely full of pride to show Boo what was obviously one of his most treasured possessions. They then took all the tractors to the backyard to play.

I'm very pleased that my son so readily shares his toys with his friends (if not with his sister).
But as the Hubs recounted the story, we both were struck by the excesses that our children are currently enjoying.

I was humbled.For me the question became, in the excess, do they truly appreciate what they have? Do they value what they have? Or, if something breaks, do they assume it can be replaced?

How does this all reflect on us to outsiders? I can't explain that at least half, if not more, are items that were recycled through yard sales, so it makes me uncomfortable. I don't want to feel self conscious, or guilty about what they have, but I do.

It will certainly affect me as the Christmas season approaches. Children's tv here is like children's tv back home - laden with adverts for toys, "just in time for Christmas". Confronting the kids wish lists this year will be especially unnerving, and I just hope I don't let it overwhelm me.