Make Me Laugh Monday: a Puppy Tale

So, again, I've been delinquent posting. Its not cause I don't love you. Or because there is nothing interesting going on here. No.

We have a puppy.

She is cute. She is my shadow.

She pees when she sees us.

Every morning, when we let her out of her crate, we maneuver her onto a newspaper as she exits.
As each child comes down the stairs...yup, you guessed it, we have to strategically greet her on a paper.
When the Hubs comes BACK downstairs, now dressed in suit and tie...yup, you guessed it.

Don't even talk to me about people at the door. We greet them with a hand towel, since we shove her onto the stoop to pee, and sometimes it happens to be on their feet.

Don't come to my house in sandals. Wellies are a better choice.

She IS golden. She yowls at us when she needs to go outside to do her business. We have actually had very few accidents inside the house. (Except on my beloved Walter E Smithe "-with-an-e" area rug in the living room. We had a bad day in there....) She slept through the night after the second night here, and we left her for a few hours this weekend to go to a neighboring festival, and she didn't wee in her crate. She isn't chewing on anything, but maybe that is because I haven't sat down in a week, and we play with her until she collapses in a heap on the sofa our laps  her bed.

Its stress-inducing enough, having a puppy, let alone living in a rental and trying to keep it in pristine condition with two children under 6 (and when you have renters with dogs - plural - in YOUR house back home, and you can only imagine what they have done to the laundry room where they were stored - they didn't get out much).  And I am, shall I say, more than a bit of a Type A personality. Oh, heck, I'm more anxious than Woody Allen. On Prozac.

I have had more than a few nights of "what the f@*% did I just do???" I did have a moment or two of contemplation of returning her to my friend, the breeder. She did offer.... (Hint: do NOT take on a puppy if you suffer from severe PMS. I'm just sayin'....)

I have ordered a cordless sweeper, since I'm a bit of a neat freak, and seeing grass on the kitchen and hallway floors about makes me break out in hives, and my vacuum weighs about 80 pounds, and the puppy thinks "chasing the broom" is a cool game to play with Mommy. I'm looking at steam floor cleaners online, too. Just 'cause.

But at the end of the day, she curls up on my lap, or on her bed in the sitting room, we look at her adoringly...until she farts.

She is still cute, but from a distance.