My First Health Care Visit

Having come down with something - sinus infection, swine flu, a combination of various bugs floating around - last Friday, and stupidly yet bravely thinking at that point it was just a "bit of sinuses bothering me". Therefore, not making an appointment with the doctor.

As such, it turns out that I spent the weekend half-comatose on the sofa, watching a channel that was showing nonstop American Christmas films, drinking gallons of honeyed tea and writhing in pain.

It was not a pretty sight. My husband stayed far away. My children, knowing no different, did come in to say "I love you, Mommy. Is that you Mommy?"

My dear, dear husband, took the kids far far away from my door. He let me sleep in. He found food in the refrigerator and kept them fed, as well as properly clothed, for which I am thankful.

I struggled through the long weekend, to make it to Monday, when the local surgery opened. I asked the Hubs "do I just walk in?" "Yeah", he replied, "I don't see why not!"

20-seconds after walking in the door, I could see why not. Every other person in town who ran out of meds or got sick had the exact same idea. Those who had called in for a prior appointment were aptly smug.

I waited. Tried to text on my phone, successfully. Tried to surf the internet on it, unsuccessfully. Read a bit until my eyes threatened to bail for the car. And after an hour and a half's wait, my desperate silent pleas were answered - it was finally my turn.

For the nurse. Wha-huh? I had to wait that long for the duty nurse?

Ok, whatever, I use the MinuteClinic back home, and the nurse there was great. I was soon to be disappointed.

She asked my history, asked what was wrong. Asked what meds I was allergic to. Asked if I would be in the country a while (meaning, did she need to save my history). Then - wait for it - she asked me what kind of meds I was looking for.

I was speechless for a second. No temperature to be taken? No, um, instruments, to look in my nose, throat, ears to verify that my complaint was the actual diagnosis? I finally asked her to check my ears - they hurt, and I've had sinus infections progress to ear infections, and mine were seriously painful. She did, surprised. Kindly, but like I was asking her to lick my ear, not look in it.

She did, then asked if I wanted something like a decongestant.

No, I want antibiot...wait - I get to pick? Erm, I mean codeine. Lots of lots of codeine. Yeah, that will knock out my headache. No, just antibiotics, please. She gave me a prescription for doxycycline: "its a penicillin". Um, actually, its an antibiotic used as a substitute for penicillin, for people allergic to penicillin, but I get the idea.

I went home thinking "don't they use this for acne? Why couldn't I have amoxycillin?"

Healthcare at its finest.

I have to admit, it is very odd to walk straight past the front desk and out the door without stopping. I kept waiting for the receptionist to chase me down. Same thing at the pharmacy - it felt quite illicit to be walking out with prescription in hand, nothing paid for. (Yes, dear, I know - we've paid for it out of your taxed paycheck, I getcha, don't ruin the moment for me.)

So my aha moments were:
1. Always phone ahead
2. If you cough while holding the remote, your husband will not touch the remote control, fearing it is germy - thus allowing me full control the entire weekend. Brilliant!