Personality, inherited.

It fascinates me how personality traits are shared from generation to generation.

For example, we attribute the extreme need for order, found in both of my kids, to their great-grandfather Howard. This isn't the simple need that all children share - this borders on OCD. Pea's shoes must be lined up in a certain order, as do her princess figurines and dolls; even her dress up clothes must be hung on a particular hook, or in a particular order.

Likewise, Boo is like me in that he shares a very cautious nature. He is very sensitive, hesitant in new situations, and when he is a bit out of his element - for example, on the football pitch. Like his mother, he likes to play- but not to compete. (He also doesn't like to lose.)

Is the in the nature of the firstborn? Do we instill it, unknowingly, as nervous, uncertain new parents rushing to protect our "baby"? Or does the second one benefit from the experience of the parent?

And, very much like her Aunt Jill, Pea is fearless. She is the adventurer. On a recent trip to the Welsh National Showcaves, where Boo was a bit overwelmed by the dark, dripping caverns, Pea happily bounced alongside of me, one hand held firmly by me, Teddy swinging in her other hand, excitedly announcing "Mommy, this is so much FUN" and "I'm just pretending there are monsters. There aren't really monsters."

(And, truth be told, I was freaking out a bit - at least in my head. But since my 3-1/2 year old was having such a great time, I had to choke it back and let myself have a good time, too. And I did.)

So while the others went to check out the dinosaur exhibit (don't ask - lets just say it is a cool place!) Pea and I went to check out the second cavern.

I will say, however, that both of my children were blessed with what I call the hub's "salesman" personality. Boo, especially, is a people magnet. He makes friends wherever he goes, and his outgoing nature bubbles over. Pea is a social butterfly, loves her friends at school, and misses them when the weekend comes. Mom, on the other hand, is painfully shy, and one who does fine one-on-one, but chokes up in a group situation. (Thankfully, in the blogosphere, my true personally comes out!!!)

So while I do my best to encourage and be supportive of Boo, not push, and not be all fearful of things, and to let him make mistakes - which can be tough, as he is as much a perfectionist as I - I realize that I need to work on the same things.

On the back page of the November issue of Ladies Home Journal there is a quote by Ashley Albert, lead singer of one of our favorite kids bands ,"the Jimmies" (also known as @PluckyPea on Twitter) that really struck a nerve. She says: "Fear of failure paralyzes you. Because I was more committed to not failing than to succeeding, I had never tried my hardest on anything."

Lets just say this really hit home with me. I changed my major in college after a really bad instructor in one of my art courses pretty much crushed my self esteem and my perception of my talents. (In hindsight, I know that he was a poseur and an ass, but back in the day it had been instilled in me that there is no such thing as a bad teacher. I know differently now.) I also stayed in a job that I didn't much like - I was good at it, and I liked my clients, but the environment was toxic - but I was so afraid of making another bad decision, I couldn't bring myself to quit.

So, when I read her quote, a bell went off . With our recent move, I'm presented with a great opportunity to reinvent myself. I'm digging out my book "The Artist's Way" and going to dig into the course 100% this time.

If I want to instill confidence in my own son, I have to have it myself.