Pushing Boundaries

One of the things about my kids that simply amazes some of my friends is how well the like to push their limits with me. Boo is a master at this. All the while that I'm trying to learn to cope with this, my mom has been saying something along the line of "watch out for Rosebud. If you think Boo is tough, she's going to drive you nuts."

My tots being who they are, they can't simply throw a temper tantrum that I can easily ignore or redirect. No, they LOVE to test me, to push me to see how much it takes to get me to cave. "Well, this is expected", you might say. "Children need to test their boundaries". With my darlings, should they figure out that they can't get me to change my position on a particular issue, well, they try to work outside the box. And around it, under it and over it.

Lately, Princess Pea has been fighting naptime. Not because she doesn't need them; she does.
No, its more because she is afraid she might miss something! She's figured out that Sam doesn't nap; he gets to play while she is snoozing.

Pea needs advance warning for just about anything, so she can organize blankets, dolls, etc appropriately before naptime. Lately, when I would tell her "finish your lunch so we can go upstairs" she would sit, grinning, with one piece of food left on her plate. After a few days of my grinning back as I swooped up the last bite and tossed it/wrapped it up for later, she gave up.

Today, she had a different plan of attack. When I announced it was almost naptime (and, getting smarter, didn't mention finishing lunch), she stuffed the last remaining chicken nugget in her mouth. In its entirety.

Grinning, she proceeded to chew. And chew. And chew.
10 minutes later, she's still sitting there with a mouthful of food.

"Swallow it, please" I tell her. She (pretends to) swallow. "Let me see", I ask.
Mouth opened, I see the aforementioned nugget in less than appetizing condition.
"Swallow it, please, Pea!" She just sits, smiling smugly. Aha! she thinks. I've found it! I've found the perfect way to avoid naptime!

Now, at this point, I'm:
a) Mad, because she is clearly pushing me;
b) grossed out, because lets face it, she's been chewing the same bite for going on 12 minutes now; and
c) a bit freaked out, because, clearly, she can't swallow that whole mouthful, and I'm afraid she's going to make a break for it, trip with that mouthful of food and choke. (Good Italian-Catholic guilt and paranoia at work.)

Ok, mom, YOU are in charge her. Someone has to be the adult, and its YOU. So, go do it....
"Listen, Miss Pea, you need to choose: Swallow it, or spit it out". Her cute little head shakes back and forth, a smug smile on her barely closed lips.

Mean Mommy takes over. She marches her little girl down to the bathroom, plops her on the counter, and when Pea opens her mouth to yell....Mean Mommy sticks a finger in there and scoops out that chewed bite of McNasty and throws it away. Pea swallows. "I did it!!!"

Good girl. Good Mommy, too.

Kids NEED boundaries. They need to know what they can expect from us - it provides them a safety net, a comfort zone. They also need consistency in how we as parents respond to the crossing of those boundaries. Its a tough job, resisting the tears and tantrums, when it would be so much easier to give in.

Its said that God never gives us more than we can handle, but some days, with how hard my two can push, well, let it be said that I think he has way too much faith in me!